Wednesday, October 15, 2008

the journal

I've decided I want to add a bit from my present into this journal. I'll still add about my past and all I remember.
I want to talk about stuff that's happening now too.
Let's start off with what today looks like. It's cold, it's wet, it's raining, and it's flooded. It's the kind of day that makes you feel down... but that's not why I'm down today. Today I lost an amazing friend. She's always been here for me and I let her know I'll always be here for her.
Let's talk about why I'm losing her now. Sure her body is dead but her spirit wants to leave this city too. We talked, maybe true love is a bit more real than I know, hell it killed her. But let me go back. I'm losing her cause a broken heart and I swear I'll kick his ass for breaking her heart. She's too good for him, the cheating lying fucker.
I made her laugh and she's always happy to see me. I don't want to see her go. Maybe I never want to see anything go... but it likes to happen a lot. Maybe I try harder than i should to keep things around. Guess it's just like a pack rat to do it, gather things and refuse to let them go.
My point in all this is to explain that I'm going to have a hard time seeing her go and am doing everything in my power to make her stay.
Now the point of the True love... I don't believe in true love, I've had a lot of love, hell even what I thought was true. She says that which can survive the hardships and the tears and the fighting is true love.... maybe I have true love for the Shadows. I have True love for a lot of things... Let me Explain why True love is fake in my mind.

They're Only Beautiful When You're Drunk

I met her coming off the dock. I followed her to the bar. I drank. She was a beautiful creature in front of me... I convinced her to dance. Strip in fact. She did it wonderfully. I fell in drunk love. A few hours later I loved her, and she said she loved me. I was faithful... only time in my life. We were mates not long after. We wanted to be together forever.
What happened?
Strippers are only beautiful when you're drunk. And they love to lie about love.
She lied about true love... and broke me down pretty bad. She left for a few days to go to the mainland... something about a dying friend or whatnot. And I waited for her. I was faithful and I missed her and when she was schedualed to return... I saw her in the arms of another man dug into a kiss... I'm pretty sure once they disappeared into the boat they fucked. So what happened?
I got mad, True love failed me and it lied. I got on the docks and as the boat was about to moor... I threw my last chunk of C-4 onboard. There was an explosion and I just walked away. True love wasn't real... it just said it was real to rip me of my clothes and my name.

True love seems so fake to me... but now I'm losing a friend because of it. Maybe i need to lighten up... everyone needs hugs. Shadows need love too ya'know.


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